A bear that was caught on video taking a swim in a residential Burbank, CA pool, was just catching a break from the heatwave currently hitting southern California when he was confronted by the Burbank police dept.
The officers said we don’t usually get calls around here about bears in pools, it’s usually drunk cougars trying to entice young actors to take a dip.
The bear, who is an out of work actor recently joined the Writers Guild of America and Screen Actors Guild/AFTRA strike to support his fellow thespians. All was going splendidly when I got a little hangry and sniffed some snacks in pockets bear said. Unfortunately for the striking writers and actors the tasty treats they had on them were quinoa/wild rice bars which outraged the underfed bear. The aftermath left 6 actors and 3 writers up a palm tree.
Talking through his attorney he said Fran Drescher stepped in, told bear he had to leave and warned him he could be fined, saying now go cool off! Was he mad, yea and knocked down a beehive for revenge which sent everyone running again, but my client was justified. I mean someone should have been carrying Nutella, they know he’s a bear and grumpy.
When asked why the American black bear whose stage name is Ursus why he was striking, he said he was sick of AI and humans taking our jobs, and this dude in Japan living his dream as a taxidermy looking collie dog? WTF??
Growling it would soon be some guy in Asia lining their pockets with cookies while masquerading as a bear, and eureka a zoo in China has been accused of having a man dressed as sun bear waiving at spectators while wearing saggy trousers. Bear said this butt don’t sag; I’m just keeping it real.
Bear’s attorney said it’s been a hard year for him, he recently was fired as a backup dancer with Lizzo. She said he stole some honey sticks off a backstage coffee bar and was too fat to dance. Okay, he took the honey sticks, but really, too fat for a Lizzo show? She’s not as empathetic as she seems.
For now, the bear and his attorney are hopeful the talks on Friday August 4th with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers and WGA/SAG-AFTRA will be positive.
